How to Mentor Someone Who Has Manipulative Tendencies

by | Nov 2, 2020 | Uncategorized

Many people have manipulative tendencies. Then can manipulate or change the views regarding a particular thing at any moment. Many leaders find it challenging to cope with people who can reshape their opinions even when the company stakes are high.

Behavioral sciences tell us that these manipulations of the views are because of the tendency to escape a harsh or competitive environment. It occurs in a person when he feels a lack of power and confidence. Although these actions are involuntary, sometimes the manipulative decisions can hamper the fate of the organization.

So, how can you help a person who is not sure of his own decisions? How can you tell him what is right or what is wrong? Sometimes you can’t. There are some cases where, if you teach them all day, they will not realize their mistakes and do the same thing again. But, some people can change themselves, can cure themselves. If you want to help those people, then consider the following approaches:

  1. CONSIDER ORGANIZATIONAL FACTORS– The organization should not create any extra burden for anyone to do a job. Organizations should believe in gender equality. In some cases, due to gender inequality, the person may develop a manipulative brain. Some other reasons for the manipulative mind are:
    • Promotion of Racism within a group
    • Narrow-minded evaluation of the works
    • Incentive systems are highly individualistic.
    • Unclear goals can exploit ambiguity. 

If factors like these are present in an organization, it will encourage people to have a manipulative mind. By coaching the people, you can understand whether he/she is manipulative by nature or falls under these factors.

  1. PRESENT THE DATA – A person with a manipulative mind can play with anyone’s brain. They can easily convince a person of their motifs. You can’t directly tackle them because they start to give sarcastic and abusive comments when they become defensive. Therefore, if you want to convince them, then you must present the data differently.
  2. EXPLORE MARGINALIZING DYNAMICS – Many people feel unwanted, rejected, and are left alone for some reason. They are not involved in any of the conversations that others are having. They try very hard to prove themselves in front of others but fail. This failure can also make a person develop a manipulative mind. It is the job of a mentor to create an environment where no unproductive behavior takes place. Not every person who has a manipulative mind is marginalized, but there is a chance that out of 100, 80 people developed a manipulative mind because of marginalization.
  3. EXPRESS SUPPORT AND AGREE ON COMMITMENTS – It is essential to have empathy while talking to a person who has manipulative tendencies. That person should believe in you and should consider you as an ally. She/he should find a sense of truth in your eyes. E.g., if you find that someone is unable to work, then help that person with all the necessary resources.